i think semua orang pernah rasa je like what they did was never and never will be good enough. try making ur parents happy and satisfied, making people sure that u're doing alright, making urself sure that u've recovered from ur past disappointments and frustrations. u thought u've been good enough to everyone and keep every relationship with people perfect. its weird when people say they know us too well to know what we are capable of doing and not dare to do. heck i dont even know what i'm doing most of the time. semua orang seems to be so sure with their lives, of what or who they want to be. i dont know shit. its so frustrating to keep myself together and not let myself fall off the wagon. sometimes i think i myself is enough, that i am whole. but everytime someone leaves, it breaks the shit of me.
if being with people is hard do i even fit to live alone?! duduk alone with cats and watch game of thrones reruns on tv kalau bosan pon go out just to get take outs and balik rumah tidur. is that how life's supposed to be?! not complaining but i've been trying to understand people around me but why cant anyone see i'm still hurting?? do i need to spell it out so people will finally realize?? i havent recovered!! not when my bestfriend decided to leave me?! when my boyfriend ignores me everytime he discovers something new instead of sharing them with me?? when my family thinks i got a hold of my life after seeing my good grades??? guys i'm not ok!!! i never was. bila korang nak nampak this
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